


Interstitial Fear

by scarecrowstories



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Confrontations, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Fear, M/M, No Spoilers, Post-Apocalypse, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26435023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarecrowstories/pseuds/scarecrowstories
Summary: Martin and Basira talk while Jon records the statement from episode 178 - contains no spoilers. Martin believes that love can be enough to ultimately conquer fear, but Basira isn't so sure. The two attempt to understand one another a bit better by talking about it. What is humanity, anyway? Does it even matter anymore?
Relationships: Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	Interstitial Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, friends! Been a while since I successfully finished a WIP! I have over a dozen, but here I am, presenting to you Gourmet Trash that I churned out in one sitting! 
> 
> Im bad at titles but I hope it makes sense to say that this is a Collection Of Small Fear between much larger and more Complex fear? Bone apple teeth indeed

With the door now closed, Martin clenched his fists hard, looking up and down the hallway. Keeping watch while Jon recorded statements was always tense, but even moreso now with Basira standing beside him. It wasn’t that they were on especially unfriendly terms, nor had he ever felt comfortable around her. Though how much of that was having incompatible personalities and how much was a result of simply being at the Institute, Martin wasn’t sure.

Basira spoke, breaking Martin free of his musings. “So this is what you do while he monologues? Stand around out in the open, exposed to whatever dangers wander by?”

A sigh. “Yes. I know this place isn’t exactly safe, but I trust Jon.”

Basira scoffed, glancing over her shoulder to confirm the door was still shut. “Even after everything he’s done?”

“Right, the same way you trusted Daisy.” Martin leaned his back against the wall, standing up straight again when he realized he could feel the minute vibrations of Jon speaking from within. Best not to think too much about that. “I don’t care what you think. You haven’t seen what this place has been doing to him, Basira! It’s-- it’s horrible, and he needs someone to be there for him.”

The grinding machinery and distant moans of woe filled the brief silence. “So why’s it gotta be you, then? You deserve better than this.”

Turning to Basira, Martin let out an exasperated exhale. “For the same reason you won’t abandon Daisy! It’s called love, Basira, and sometimes people try to enjoy how precious a thing it is even when the world has literally ended around them!”

“Fine, sure, but Daisy isn’t the one who caused all this.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Why not? Because you don’t want it to be? Daisy and I had a deal: if she gave in to the Hunt again, it’d be my duty to end it. And what are you doing to stop what Jon started? Nothing. Just following him around like some lovesick puppy--”

“Don’t--” Martin started, holding up a hand to stop her. When she stopped, Martin took a deep breath to steady himself before responding. “We’re doing what we can. He’s had a hard enough time holding onto his humanity without the guilt-tripping. Do you really think he wanted this?”

“I don’t think he Didn’t.”

“Well, he didn’t! We were happy in that cabin! We--!” A choked sob cuts Martin’s sentence short. “Listen, please. Please. He’s still plenty human. If he wasn’t, I don’t think these places would affect him so much. And don’t say you didn’t notice; just because he tries to be all smug about it doesn’t mean anything.” He wiped at the tears threatening to spill. The idea of crying in front of Basira wasn’t an appealing one. “He’s scared, too. Christ, when I found him lying there after the sky changed…”

Basira sighed and patted Martin’s shoulder awkwardly. “Okay. I believe you. I just don’t want you to have to go through what I’m going through with Daisy. And not just because I don’t think you’d be able to follow through with actually killing Jon, even if it was to save the world.”

If it wasn’t so depressing, Martin might have laughed. Instead, his shoulders lost their tension as the breath left his body, his entire being beginning to feel wobbly around the edges at the thought. What would be the point of fixing the world if it left him Lonely again? Especially since fixing it wouldn’t undo the suffering that already happened. Hell, it wouldn’t even prevent future suffering - just shift it from the supernatural to the mundane.

His vision started to go out of focus as the din of the processing line filled his ears like a deafening static. He felt simultaneously Denser and yet more Dissipate, as if fading into the weight of the world around him so that there was no clear boundary between Self and Place anymore. 

He snapped back to reality when Basira shook his shoulders; he cleared his throat and looked away. “Sorry we aren’t all thick-skinned enough to be capable at killing. If it ever came to that, I, I think you’d be right. I’d have to try though, wouldn’t I? I mean, I can’t say for sure what I’d do in that situation until it happened but I--”

“It’s okay,” Basira said, face softening for the first time since they’d reunited with her. “It’s not a position you want to be in. I’m not… Look, this isn’t going to be easy. And in case it wasn’t obvious: I don’t want to do it! But that doesn’t matter, because I have to. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want.”

This time Martin scoffed, pulling away from Basira and looking at the door Jon was still behind. “I DO know that, you know! I’m an adult! But I just--” Another sigh. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been touched by the Lonely so I don’t expect you to understand. But I can’t go back to that. I can’t let it have any foothold, or it’ll just keep chipping away at me until it’s- it’s all fog again.”

A loud moan of despair echoed out longer than the rest, followed by the distinctive sound of meat being slapped and more sobbing. The machinery droned on, but the air took on a buzz of nervousness so thick as to be almost tangible.

“I also happen to think that he deserves to be happy. Is that so wrong? To want the person I’m in love with to have a safe and comfortable life?”

Basira smirked. “So it is official, then? You two?”

Martin felt his face and neck grow warm. They hadn’t exactly held back with Basira around, still content to hold hands as they traveled, but he supposed she was right to wonder. It wasn’t like they’d spent much time catching up on their personal lives.

“Congratulations,” she said before he could respond, her tone cold. “I hope that you two loving each other is enough to save you from whatever the alternative is.” A pause. “I keep hoping ours could be, too, but, well… Let’s just say I think the Hunt is stronger.”

“I’m sorry. I--”

“It’s okay. It is what it is. Whenever Jon’s done recording his monster manual for the day we’re going to move on and find Daisy. Then we’ll see what happens.” Basira grimaced as a machine in the distance shrieked, its gears grinding out a dissonant despair. “I guess I don’t understand how you can look past it,” she said, quieter than Martin had ever heard her.

He waited a moment to see if she would continue. When she didn’t, he prompted, “Past what?” He had a feeling that he knew what she was going to say, but he still needed to hear it.

Basira shifted on her feet, eyes distant. “Come on, Martin, I know you aren’t blind. He - Jon - he’s different than he used to be. He didn’t have green eyes when I met him, and they definitely didn’t glow. You must’ve watched him record a statement since this started; he doesn’t move his limbs like a person does.” She gripped her gun more tightly, mentally chiding herself for acting as if it would ever be enough to keep her safe again. “I know you say there’s human left in there somewhere but, fucking hell. If you’d seen him last time--”

Panic pushed Martin onward, words spilling out in a flood to stop Basira from telling him. He didn’t want to know! It was terrible enough trying to imagine what this world was like for Jon; he didn’t need to be present to confirm his fears. “I don’t need to see him like that to know that he’s different! But that doesn’t mean he’s not human anymore, okay?! It just doesn’t! He’s still Jon! The Eye is making him do these things, just like the Hunt is making Daisy! He wouldn’t have chosen this!” A choked back sob, before soft and broken, “He wouldn’t.”

“Do you really believe that? Or do you just want it to be true?”

“I have to believe it,” he muttered, the tears finally too heavy to keep at bay as his eyes streamed silently. “I have to believe we can fix this and make the world right again. I have to believe that love is strong enough to fight fear. I can’t let myself start thinking any differently now or I’ll be Lost, so please. I know you’re hurting, and it’s making you lash out, but don’t try to take this from me.” He paused to take a deep breath and angrily wipe away more tears. “Sorry. I know you aren’t doing that. It’s this place.”

Basira rubbed at her temples for a moment, sharp eyes cutting into Martin as she said, “You’re a good person, Martin.”

“Excuse me?” That hadn’t been where he thought the conversation would go.

She made a vague, noncommittal hand gesture.“You heard me. You’re a good person. I think if anybody is going to make it through this to the other side, it’ll be you. If, you know, that matters, or whatever. Have Jon’s powers told him the rules of these places?”

Martin shrugged, heart heavy. “Not as much as they could, I’m sure. He’s still avoiding using it whenever he can, you know. He still hates it. Look, I know you find it hard when-- done already?” He took a surprised step away from the door as Jon abruptly stepped out.

Even as worn as he looked, seeing Jon strengthened Martin’s convictions that they were doing the right thing. They had to be. What choice did they have, anyway? None of them truly chose this. 

Right?

**Author's Note:**

> This is only the 2nd time Ive completed a fic for TMA so... Please let me know what you think. I hope this finds you well. Please take care of yourselves. Everything is so hard, but maybe love can be enough for some of us, too?


End file.
